Watching people get jobs while I sit here in my PJ’s

It is August and in almost exactly a month’s time I will be returning to University to study a MA. During the summer I’ve done some exciting things, I went to Edinburgh Film Festival and managed to see seventeen films in four days. I travelled around Italy for two and a half weeks, seeing some amazing sights and getting a little sunburnt along the way. I’ve enjoyed this summer but now I’m in a bit of a no man’s land. I’ve got nothing really planned bar a few days out with friends over the next five weeks, as I sit at home in my pyjamas, hearing about how well some of my friends have done with internships and grad jobs via social networking sites I wonder if I made the right decision about doing the MA.

There is no turning back for me now as I’ve paid my fee’s and arranged accommodation. The MA in Media and Public Relations is perfect for me and I’m definitely looking forward to studying something new. I’ve never studied any form of business and as someone who wants to be a part of the film business, the MA could be one of the most useful things I’ll ever do for my career.

I think the main thing I’m feeling is not necessarily jealousy, rather disappointment in myself. From January 2013 till April 2013 I applied for over thirty different internships, placements and grad jobs and only heard back from two of them. The two I heard back from were both rejections but at least they both gave constructive criticism. I’m starting to think that I was too quick to get disheartened about a lack of response at all let alone a positive response and that is what, in part, drew me to the MA. In today’s economic climate it’s always going to be hard to find an internship let alone an actual job and I think one of my biggest problems (or it could be a positive thing) is that I don’t want to settle. I don’t want to go back to my job in a local shop that I know I can just walk into. I want to work in media and in PR and in Film and I only want to get a job or an internship in that field.

Many of the positions I was applying for wanted the applicant to have some experience in business, sometimes this was through work and others it was through education. Like I said before I never studied business before because for a long time my aspirations were in a completely different area. When it came to business experience in work, I have a little office based experience for instance answering telephones, doing mailshots and working on reception but I don’t have any experience in a large corporation. I hope that having the MA on my CV will help show prospective employers that I do know and understand the big world of business.

I think I’m also not ready to be an adult, to not have that comfort blanket of still being a student and to have to work a nine to five job five days a week. Also if or when I ever got a job I know I’m going to have to leave home as London is where I want to be and where I need to be if I want to work in Film. The whole situation is big and scary and while I’m perhaps a little envious of my friends who are out there and doing something, I’m pretty sure that doing a MA will make me more confident and able in any future job. Perhaps I’m going to have to “settle” but right now I want to work towards my dream job and hope that I won’t have to settle for anything less.

I’m proud of my friends who have found themselves jobs or internships and I wish them all the luck in the world. But it’s going to be another year until that’s me.

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