A guy I knew from uni died two days ago. I only found out about it today and through Facebook of all things. I suppose I’ve learnt about friends getting engaged, having children or getting promotions at work through Facebook – it was only a matter of time before I learnt about someone’s death though I had thought it wouldn’t happen for twenty years or more.
The guy who died, I’ll call him K, he was a friend of a friend and I met him on a night out. He was a part of one circle of friends I was a part of and for a year at uni he lived with one of my best friends. I’d say K was more than an acquaintance but not quite a friend – you know, one of those hard to quantify relationships.
I found out after our friend T added me to a Facebook group called “R.I.P K”. Based on my sense of humour and that of him and his friends, naively my first thought was that it was some joke group or event and really it’s RIP K’s liver because that was a phrase we’d use after a big night out and you had an epic hangover. After looking at the Facebook group I soon realised how wrong I was.
I later heard from a close friend who’d I’d text and called because I was honestly so shocked and confused I wasn’t sure how it could be true, who told me that K had died from a seizure.
K’s death really hit me. We weren’t particularly close and I didn’t cry but I felt incredible sad, shocked and I wasn’t sure how to process it. K was 22 and less than a month away from his 23rd birthday, people my age aren’t supposed to die.
I’ve experienced death before. A close family friend who was an honorary uncle died in a car accident. My granddad died after suffering from dementia for years. But there’s something different when it’s someone the same age as you, it makes you feel your own mortality and makes you think.
RIP K. You were a fun guy who was easy to talk to and made you feel welcome even if you only knew one person at the party. If this is shocking and weird and kinda hard for me, I can’t image what it’s like for his close friends and family.