1 star

REVIEW: Gods of Egypt (2016)

gods-of-egypt-posterMortal Bek (Brenton Thwaites) teams up with the god Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) to try and defeat Set (Gerard Butler), the god of darkness who has taken Egypt’s throne, enslaved its people and plunged the empire into chaos and war.

Gods of Egypt is not a good film. There’s so much wrong with it, the dialogue is awkward and sometimes cheesy, the action scenes are terrible and while it might have a lot of big, shiny things, the CGI can’t really save the film.

Let’s talk about the dialogue. From the first scene with Bek and his girlfriend Zaya (Courtney Eaton) their whole conversation is clunky and is a full-on info dump. From there it doesn’t get much better. There’s some quips when I think were supposed to be humours but not as funny as I found them – they were so cheesy and said at a really inappropriate time.

Then there’s the fight scenes. Some aren’t so bad, and the special effects on the Egyptian gods sometimes looks pretty cool, but then others are just awful. There’s the slow-mo pans around a character as he leaps towards someone, it honestly looks like the actor has been told to hold a couple of fighting poses and the camera, editing and VFX teams will do the rest.

I can’t not mention that a film set in Egypt, about Egyptian gods, has very few people of colour in it – especially black people. I feel like the scene where there’s a hundred Thoth’s (Chadwick Boseman) walking around is some sort of weird attempt to level the playing field.

All in all, Gods of Egypt is a dull and predictable film, though it does manage to sometimes looks pretty and sparkly. 1/5.

REVIEW: W.E. (2011)

WE film poster madonnaThe story of the affair between American divorcee Wallis Simpson (Andrea Riseborough) and King Edward VIII (James D’Arcy) is a back drop to Wally Winthrop’s (Abbie Cornish) own unhappy marriage as she spends her time looking at a collection of items related to Wallis Simpson.

W.E. bounces back and forth between Wallis Simpson’s and Prince Edward’s affair and marriage in the 1930’s and to 1998 where Wally is in an abusive marriage to William (Richard Coyle) a distant man who spends more time working at the hospital than with his wife and when he does see her, he verbally and physically attacks. Wally loses herself in the world of Wallis Simpson and spends her days in an auction house looking at all this memorabilia, there she meets Russian security guard Evgeni (Oscar Isaac) and they strike up an unlikely friendship.

If W.E. had been solely focussed on Wallis Simpson’s story, it might have been a half decent film. Unfortunately it keeps returning to Wally and her obsession with Wallis Simpson which is bordering on the ridiculous in 1998 who you don’t find yourself caring about at all. Back in the 1930’s there’s a few moments that are interesting like any scene featuring Prince George (Lawrence Fox) and Elizabeth (Natalie Dormer) are nice and it’s great seeing their relationship and their relationship with Edward and Wallis. (more…)