A guy I knew from uni died two days ago. I only found out about it today and through Facebook of all things. I suppose I’ve learnt about friends getting engaged, having children or getting promotions at work through Facebook – it was only a matter of time before I learnt about someone’s death though I had thought it wouldn’t happen for twenty years or more. (more…)
I signed up to Livejournal in July 2007 – I was 15. Livejournal was where all the fandom stuff was happening back then, it was where you could find great discussions, theories and the more creative side of fandom including fanvid’s and fanficiton. To start with I didn’t really use my LJ for much besides commenting on other people’s posts and generally lurking about the Doctor Who/Torchwood fandom. It wasn’t until May 2008 that I started using my own Livejournal more than just for meme’s and ramblings about the latest episode of Doctor Who.
From mid-2008 my Livejournal became my online diary and through that diary, and the subsequent other people’s LJ’s that I met through fandom, I made friends online. There is a bit of a stigma or fear (especially from parents and in some way’s it’s justified) about meeting people online and having online friends. But the people I’ve met through LJ are wonderful.
For some reason (I’m honestly not sure what brought this on) I’ve been thinking about how the Bechdel test relates to my everyday life. The Bechdel test is a simple way to determine how well women are represented in media, whether that’s in books, films or TV shows. The three rules of the Bechdel test are that 1) there are at least two named women that 2) talk to each other 3) about something other than a man.
Now many forms of media fail the Bechdel test but when you think about your everyday conversations – how can media fail such a simple test?!
Yesterday I went around friend’s house for lunch at 12:30pm and didn’t leave till just after 8pm as I had plans to meet another friend at the cinema – so really I could have been there much longer. I don’t know why but I presumed that I would have a gap of a few hours between these two events to finish my essay but it didn’t work like that and I can’t say I’m that upset.
It was just a lot of fun and a chilled out day. There were five of us, our hosts had cooked lunch, and we chatted about University, friends and what we got up to over Christmas and New Year. Then we played board games! I can’t remember the last time I played a board game. We played Balderdash (which I won) and Mahjong which I had never played before but after a couple of games I soon picked it up and it was a lot of fun and very clever.
We had pizza delivered and then one of the kind hosts dropped me off at the cinema. Part of me didn’t want to leave as I was having such a good time but alas I’d made plans to see American Hustle.
I just love days like that, yeah I should’ve probably done some work but you need those days off with friends. They were people I don’t see every day and it was lovely to have a whole afternoon with them. I had a lot of fun and I’m so pleased the day turned out like that, it was a much needed break from responsibilities.
Yesterday is going in my jar for sure.
It is August and in almost exactly a month’s time I will be returning to University to study a MA. During the summer I’ve done some exciting things, I went to Edinburgh Film Festival and managed to see seventeen films in four days. I travelled around Italy for two and a half weeks, seeing some amazing sights and getting a little sunburnt along the way. I’ve enjoyed this summer but now I’m in a bit of a no man’s land. I’ve got nothing really planned bar a few days out with friends over the next five weeks, as I sit at home in my pyjamas, hearing about how well some of my friends have done with internships and grad jobs via social networking sites I wonder if I made the right decision about doing the MA.
There is no turning back for me now as I’ve paid my fee’s and arranged accommodation. The MA in Media and Public Relations is perfect for me and I’m definitely looking forward to studying something new. I’ve never studied any form of business and as someone who wants to be a part of the film business, the MA could be one of the most useful things I’ll ever do for my career.
I think the main thing I’m feeling is not necessarily jealousy, rather disappointment in myself. From January 2013 till April 2013 I applied for over thirty different internships, placements and grad jobs and only heard back from two of them. The two I heard back from were both rejections but at least they both gave constructive criticism. I’m starting to think that I was too quick to get disheartened about a lack of response at all let alone a positive response and that is what, in part, drew me to the MA. In today’s economic climate it’s always going to be hard to find an internship let alone an actual job and I think one of my biggest problems (or it could be a positive thing) is that I don’t want to settle. I don’t want to go back to my job in a local shop that I know I can just walk into. I want to work in media and in PR and in Film and I only want to get a job or an internship in that field.
Many of the positions I was applying for wanted the applicant to have some experience in business, sometimes this was through work and others it was through education. Like I said before I never studied business before because for a long time my aspirations were in a completely different area. When it came to business experience in work, I have a little office based experience for instance answering telephones, doing mailshots and working on reception but I don’t have any experience in a large corporation. I hope that having the MA on my CV will help show prospective employers that I do know and understand the big world of business.
I think I’m also not ready to be an adult, to not have that comfort blanket of still being a student and to have to work a nine to five job five days a week. Also if or when I ever got a job I know I’m going to have to leave home as London is where I want to be and where I need to be if I want to work in Film. The whole situation is big and scary and while I’m perhaps a little envious of my friends who are out there and doing something, I’m pretty sure that doing a MA will make me more confident and able in any future job. Perhaps I’m going to have to “settle” but right now I want to work towards my dream job and hope that I won’t have to settle for anything less.
I’m proud of my friends who have found themselves jobs or internships and I wish them all the luck in the world. But it’s going to be another year until that’s me.